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Breaking Free of Western Thinking

Breaking Free of Western Thinking

Aur’s personal observation of the differences between the Western thinking of her Australian students compared to her Asian students, by mentor Aur and how Asian thinking could maybe help. (8-10 min read).

 Safety doesn’t Help

In Western culture, people train themselves to look good – at least on the surface. Their government keeps their streets clean. People keep their homes freshly painted, and lawns mowed. Everyone tries to speak and act politely with each other. In the Western world, everything is perfect on the outside.

Most Western countries have support systems in place for those in need and a decent government that takes care of people’s basic needs if they’re have nowhere else to turn. Life is not too bad in an average Western Country.

But in Asia, most governments aren’t that sophisticated or helpful. They don’t take care of their people who have nothing to spare. Each family has to fend for themselves. That’s why, as Asians, we’re raised to fight for our survival and be strong mentally. We don’t have time to be worried, sad, or depressed. We are forced to be mentally strong and cope with pressure. It’s we live closely as a family. We help each other to survive. A large family also means a large network of people to help you succeed in whatever you do.

 

Be Respectful of Success

The problem with Western culture is that, although most people want to be rich and successful, their society doesn’t train them to be entrepreneurs. They’re trained to be employees. Because they still want success but don’t have the mind to achieve it, they start calling others with success greedy or selfish.

So many Westerners are too afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone, and because they want to look good, they hide their weaknesses and failures. Unfortunately, they’re trained like this since childhood. This is a big reason why so many living in Western countries to feel depressed in day to day life and lack true self-confidence.

Asia is not perfect by any means. But, because we don’t have the systems and safety nets Westerners have, Asian’s have created a fighting entrepreneurial spirit out of their need to survive. When their lives suck, they work hard to change it. Otherwise, they may not survive. That’s why Asians openly respect rich people. They know that no matter Asian, Western, or otherwise, the only thing that makes people different are their minds.  In Asia, we see people who have made themselves rich trained themselves to be that way, and worked hard to get there. That’s why we bow to rich people in Asia, we know there is a great deal to learn from them which we can use in own lives.

 

Learn First

I teach a form of Feng Shui which reveals how everything in your life is determined by the colors you use and the structures you live and work in, with guaranteed results.

When teaching in any country, I always prove first that everything I teach is real with live demonstrations. That way all my students can immediately see how their lives are tangibly connected to the world around them. Within the first day of learning, all my students agree that nothing in life is a coincidence. No matter where they’re from.

The difference between Western and Asian students happens after the class has finished. Here in Asia, students always want to continue learning as much as possible so they can find out how to make their lives better. But, they’re usually too afraid to apply it on their own, in case they make a mistake and somehow ruin their lives. So, they bug me each day with more and more questions. I like how they try to learn as much as they can and to get as much value from their teacher as possible.

On the other hand, Westerners are afraid to contact me. They assume I’m too busy to teach. So they start fixing everything in their lives without any further guidance. In their minds, they’re not afraid of making mistakes.

On the one hand, they see that Real Feng Shui affects every area of a person’s life. But on the contrary, they still feel like it’s impossible for something like this to be real.  So, they don’t think enough of it to be afraid of the consequences if they make a mistake. But the truth is, if something can elevate your life for the better, it can also destroy you. Learn first. Have patience. Be afraid to make mistakes.

 

Deal with Problems

In Asia, we are trained to be disciplined and impeccable with our word. This is why in Asia, no matter how painful something is, if we have done something wrong, we accept the consequences.

Whereas, many of my Western students want to make their lives better but are afraid of facing their problems or sharing them with others. They cover the real problems and tell themselves that their problem is something else. Here’s an example:

An overweight student once told me that, she wants to be thin and have a great body so that she can be more confident in herself. She justified spending her family’s savings on a detox retreat in Bali for this reason. I told her that she didn’t need money to lose weight. She could easily go for a run every day to lose weight. It’s free, and within four months she would have a great body. But, I asked her, would she be satisfied with herself once she was thin? The answer was no.

Truth be told, she didn’t care about losing weight. She wanted to have more money and spend it on herself for things she wanted to do and have. But, she didn’t want to admit being greedy or wanting money.

A lot of Westerners deny who they are. They deny wanting to be successful and deny wanting money. This comes back from the point that they want to look good. But, how are they ever going to get what they want if they start with denial?

 

Be Honest With Yourself

I wonder. If you want to fix your life but you don’t open up to others or even yourself about your problems, who’s ever going to help you? If you can’t tell the truth about how you feel, you won’t fix it no matter how hard you try. If you want money, or you’re greedy, then be greedy. So what? You can want whatever you want. It just doesn’t mean you’re going to get it.

 

Be Real

The other problem I see a lot in Western culture is day-dreaming. People say they can do something without thinking first. Someone told me once that he was going to open a shop, but didn’t know the details yet. If it were in Asia, we would think to ourselves, what will we sell? How will it be different from everyone else on the market? Why will my customers have to pick me instead of others?

Many Westerners don’t do that. They never question themselves about how they’re going to make something successful. They only think on the surface.

Think about what the other person gets. If you have a business partner, think what that person gets and why that person needs them. Or if they have a customer, what will their customer get? What unique value do they give these people? If you don’t think about this, there is no way you will succeed.

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How to Love

How to Love

When you say that you love someone, what do you do to show them that love? If you’re like most of us, when you love someone, you never want to see them upset or hurt. You’re probably nice to them and do whatever you can to make them happy. Especially parents feel this way. They never want to see their baby cry or be upset.

But, that love can hurt people.

Aur teaches a different perspective of love. For her, if you love someone, you will do what is best for them in the long term. Truly best for them. Not what you feel comfortable with, or what makes them temporarily pleased, but what is best. In order to what is best for someone, you have to have two key pieces of knowledge. You must truly know that person, their strengths, weaknesses, good side and bad. Then, you need to know what really is good and bad for them. What will ultimately provide them with benefit vs harm?

Kicking your five-year-old child out of the car to find their own way home whilst still being miles away, may seem a terrible thing to do. But, Sir Richard Branson remembers it fondly as a valuable lesson his mom taught him in independence.

Have you noticed that the most successful and inspiring people in the World often came from poor backgrounds or childhoods filled with serious adversity? Many of the greatest actors, performers, humanitarians and business people, all experienced huge hardship. Whereas comfort is often quoted to be the enemy of success. This isn’t a coincidence. 

The key is knowing what core current experiences create desirable future personality characteristics and personal strengths. No matter the discomfort or unfavorable present discomfort. This is how Aur shows love to her students and own family. She guides them, argues with and even chides them to change current behavioral patterns, which although they may like or be used to, will lead them to future personal suffering. She never gives up too. No matter how stubbornly they hold onto their destructive behaviors, she pushes back until they finally change for the better. We say that she fights for us to be better people even when we don’t fight for ourselves. That’s what Aur calls love. 

Example love story: baby

Two of Aur’s students recently had a baby. Aur often helps them with training their infant and takes care of him when his parents are both unavailable due to work. She has a lot of experience raising children. When she was in her early 20’s she volunteered as an early foster parent for orphans and has raised over 20 children in her life (including her own two).

The baby was born on a Friday. We know from studying with Aur that one of the problems a Friday has is a tendency towards laziness and she could see that this child, in particular, had problems with a high ego. When feeding the baby, she would put his hands on the bottle every time. Then she’d let go. At first, he cried loudly in protest, visibly distressed, wanting her to hold the bottle for him. Then, he realized he had to hold it himself. This might seem small, but remember how much these young periods in our lives shape who we become. Research shows that behavior styles at 3 already link to core adult personalities. If he learns to be responsible for himself at this age, it will snowball into his adult persona.

You might think that it’s too early to teach a child when they’re a baby. But, babies are smart. At first, whenever the baby did not get what he wanted, he would cry and scream in protest. He wasn’t sad, he was angry. There wouldn’t be any tears, and he would even stop to look around and see if anyone was watching him. He would do this until his parents gave in and gave him whatever it was he wanted. He won every time. But, this is no good.  If left unchecked, he’ll become increasingly difficult for his parents to control or teach him. He will feel that whatever they say, he will win in the end. This doesn’t mold a respectful or nurturing relationship. It will be detrimental to his future openness to learning from his elders.

So, whenever the baby did this with Aur around, she would do things differently. When she saw that he was crying to win, she would let him cry. She even spanked him on the butt when he opened his eyes to check if anyone was watching him and told him off. This would sometimes go on for hours. He was persistent in wanting to win and get his way. But, after a few days of this scenario, he realized that he could not always win. He had to follow what others wanted too. Even though he is still less than a year old, you can see that he developed himself immensely. This is something he’ll have for life now.

Aur deeply loves this child. To the point that she understands what is good and bad in his personality and does everything she can to help develop him in a way that will provide him with a brighter future and greater personality.

It’s never too early or too late to start helping others you love. But remember, to love another, you must first love yourself. Loving yourself doesn’t mean always doing what you want to do. It’s doing what’s best for you. Find out what is good and what is bad in yourself. Think about the future your own current actions, thoughts and beliefs will lead you towards. 

Discipline yourself. Train yourself. Develop yourself to be better. Make your future brighter than today. That’s Love.

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